SATIRE — This is a fictional parody inspired by real news. All dialogue and comic details are invented.
CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Following West Virginia’s announcement of a record $9.4 billion tourism economic impact, an entirely fictional maple leaf has hired representation and asked visitors to stop photographing its bad side.
The leaf, currently working a ridge somewhere in the Mountain State, says it has spent years turning orange without so much as a parking space.
“Everybody talks about the mountains,” said the imaginary leaf’s agent. “Who do you think is doing wardrobe?”
The leaf’s imaginary publicist has already described this as a “brand journey.” It is a leaf. Its journey is down. Nevertheless, three consultants are preparing a slide deck.
A demanding fall schedule
The fictional contract calls for morning mist, late-afternoon lighting, and a guarantee that no one will describe the leaf as “basically brown.” It also demands a private dressing room, despite the leaf having one outfit and wearing it outside.
An oak leaf down the road declined to join the negotiations, explaining that it prefers to stay grounded. A nearby evergreen said it had no comment because it works year-round.
Tourists have been advised that the maple will continue appearing in scenic photographs. However, personal appearances on windshields will now require a booking fee, payable in compliments.
The overlook has notes
In our invented tourism drama, the scenic overlook is seeking its own agent after learning it has been described online as “a nice place to stretch your legs.”
“I am framing three mountain ranges,” it said. “You can stretch your legs at a gas station.”
The river has expressed interest in a management deal but wants to retain creative control over which direction it goes.
Despite the imaginary negotiations, the leaf says it remains committed to the visitors who made its career possible. It plans to greet them warmly, provide a spectacular show, and fall directly into the gutter they cleaned yesterday.
Its agent calls that audience engagement.
The real story behind the joke: A September 21 state announcement reported a record $9.4 billion tourism economic impact. The leaf, agent, and negotiations are fictional. Read the state’s tourism announcement.
Source checked October 9, 2026. Artwork: AI-generated satire illustration, not a news photograph.